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  Madam, ne'er in all my born days did I see such a tool. Where Lieutenant the Honourable Roderick Weymiss' shaft was long and rifle-thin, and that of his boon companion, Lord Peter Ronsabell's was short and thick as a Coehorn, Patrick's was their combined match in both dimensions. One glance at its immensity, and I shuddered at the thought of so massive an instrument probing my delicate inner parts, and would have protested its entry vigorously had opportunity but offered.

  For the rest, Patrick was stoutly made, and his bones well coated with smooth flesh bearing but little hair - all told a most attractive couch companion albeit I found it difficult to contemplate any portion of him at that moment save the alarming codpiece I was destined to contain. I felt the great strength of him as he plucked me from the carpet like a piece of cloth and laid me on my backside on the unopened bed - whose tufted spread did threaten under the pressure of our combined weights to dot my tender flesh with more dimples than nature e'er intended.

  Patrick toyed with my tits and cunny skilfully enough to prepare us both for combat, and I encircled his mighty lance with a timorous fist, nor were my fears in any way allayed by the fact that palm and fingers could scarce encompass its girth. Albeit I did my best to guide the purple crocus blossom of his stout maypole within the portals of my cunny, terror forbade mine own juices greasing the mouth of the tunnel, and his best efforts availed him nothing.

  Undeterred, he laughed and kissed and cozened me as I were a doll, so helpless did he hold me in the strength of his embrace, ultimately upending me and rolling beneath till I full straddled him with his mighty blossom still prodding amain at my un-oiled gates. Whereat he unleashed his hold of my waist with one hand and put it to his mouth and spat upon it gently. He then slid it beneath my centre-piece and anointed his great mace, then held me as in a gentle vice and lowered me slowly upon it... and, lo! almost ere I knew what was happening, his crocus was well within my tunnel and forcing its way slowly upward into the very heart of me.

  I cried out as its great girth bid fair to stretch my poor passageway past the bursting point, and looked at Mr Selwyn for aid, but that gentleman's eyes were glued upon the pièce de resistance of our performance, and he neither saw nor heard my plea for mercy. His eyes were fixed on our fused centre parts as if they were about to pop like great ripe currents from their caverns in his skull.

  So great, indeed, was my discomfort, that I wriggled with all my might to escape the agony of my impalement upon Patrick's giant codpiece, and thereby was either done or undone depending upon the eye of the beholder - for the motion involved caused my juices to start flowing in a great suffusion, and what had been a mortal agony was transformed quicker than words can say it into a delight beyond any I had known before and scarce to be endured.

  I cried out again, but not for succour this time as nature and Sir Isaac Newton's Law of Gravity caused Patrick's penetration of my poor small body to become deeper still, and our most private hairs met and mingled in the broth and froth of our passion. I soon felt his rigidity increase, and his machine grow turgid until it bucked within me, and his love-juice spurted to rebound from the very top of my womb, whereat he, too, cried out and fell limp, and what had so short a time before filled me with discomfort beyond endurance soon dwindled till it threatened to leave behind an empty, gaping void no more to be borne than its impalement.

  With gentle moans, I settled myself more closely still upon his waning member, rubbing and rotating mine own private parts around it until, as if by magic, its retreat was stemmed, and soon a rally got under way again filling me to a bursting point I no longer feared or wished to avoid - quite the opposite, I confess it.

  Resting a moment after the rebirth was complete, I looked again at Mr Selwyn and laughed and thrust out my tongue at him, a gesture my elegant new protector, with the most seemly gravity, returned in kind, thereby causing me to love him the more dearly. But at this point, Patrick returned to life with a great upward movement in a circular motion that sent reason, in truth all other sense and sensibility, dancing merrily away, and we clouted and clipped and clasped and clambered upon one another like mad moujhicks from Tartary's plain indulging in some heathen ritual wherein cunny and codpiece replace the altar of our Lord.

  Since Patrick had already discharged his cannon once full within me, his powder took far longer to ignite on the second round of pleasure, and we worked one another over vigorously with the utmost delight until it seemed we would fair be drowned in our own sweat and other effusions, and sheer mutual exhaustion bid fair to put an end to our pleasure without its appointed conclusion, at least as far as stout Patrick was concerned, for I must confess, chère madame, that I attained paradise so many times I felt myself threatened with becoming a permanent resident of that Celestial sphere.

  Then, with a mighty heaving and thrusting and groaning, my tester achieved that which he so vigorously sought, and this time I was far too spent to seek to retain his spear at rigid attention within me, nor could I have done so e'en had I possessed the strength.

  When we had rested for a while, drained of all desire, and naked on the spread that now resembled an ocean in mighty turmoil, so great was its confusion, rather than the calm sea it had been at the outset of our great trial, Mr Selwyn most considerately asked Patrick if he felt me qualified to service the master as well as the man. To which, Patrick could reply but with a heart-felt groan, at which Mr Selwyn professed himself entirely satisfied, as he was with what he had witnessed of our protracted bout.

  He then had me bathe and e'en towelled me off afterward himself, paying especial attention to those parts of my poor body that had been most actively engaged, and pronouncing them charming. Whereat he told me I must dress, for that we had a hard journey still ahead of us that night.

  'I am not afeard of your MacTavish,' he assured me solemnly. ''Tis just that I have long since learned to deem discretion in these matters by far the better part of valour.'

  'As ye wish,' I replied, not even wondering what new turn my fortune was to take, so spent, was I from my two turns with Patrick, and, rendered so languid by the warm water of the bath Mr Selwyn had had the tavern scullery maid heat and pour.

  Had he suggested we take off for Timbucktoo itself, I doubt not that I should have assented without question. So I dressed with such care as conditions permitted and accompanied him downstairs in the inn.

  Patrick awaited us, on the box of a three-quarter-front carriage, and I must confess myself both relieved and mightily impressed to discover my dunnage securely strapped, along with Mr Selwyn's, on the rack at the rear. My heart went out both to my new protector and to his man for affording me a symptom of their care and comfort in regard to myself, as well as for the pleasures the man had afforded me in the inn. Forsooth, any fretting that might have troubled me at forming an alliance with a man as obviously mature as Mr Selwyn was allayed by recollection of how inexhaustibly his servant could minister to my needs and foibles, so much so that any lingering sorrow at loss of Lieutenant the Honourable Roderick Weymiss and his charming companions was quite allayed.

  Maudie

  After dinner that night Charlie begged to be excused. Sitting alone in the little smoking-room, he began to think out his plans.

  At that moment one of the pretty maids came in without knocking.

  'Oh, mistress's compliments, sir, and she'd forgotten to give you the key of the wine and spirit cupboards; there they are. I'll open them.'

  She brought out the necessaries, also a pile of books.

  'Mistress says you might like these, too,' she giggled. 'Let me show you the best,' and she flicked over the pages of an obviously very erotic book, full of coloured plates of lust in every form. 'Saucy, aren't they? Look at this.'

  It portrayed three couples, hopelessly mixed up, tongues, lips, cocks and cunts in helpless and joyful confusion.

  She put her hand on Charlie's shoulder, playfully flicking his ear, and bending over kissed his forehead, pressing her breasts against the ba
ck of his head. 'I'm glad you've come,' she cooed; 'so are all the girls. We like you. I'm going to bring your hot water up tonight; mind you're awake.'

  Charlie couldn't help it. He pulled her round on to his knee. She put his hand under her clothes herself, and wriggled.

  'It's all right,' she said; 'no one will come in. This is what I'm best at,' and she slipped between his legs and undid the fly buttons with her teeth.

  'You little devil!' was all Charlie could say.

  A confused, gurgling noise was the only answer - his prick seemed to be half way down her throat.

  He nervously fingered her head - she had deliciously soft hair - and gave himself to an abandon of lust.

  She gently tickled his balls till his cock seemed to throb like a motor bicycle engine, and, well, it couldn't last for ever; he spent like Niagara.

  The pretty girl threw back her head and gulped it down.

  'I say, old chap,' came Tubby's voice from behind, 'you're beginning soon, y'know, and you've got the nicest, by God, y'have, and, I say, your aunt's looking for you, and she's going to stay the night, and what the devil are we going to do, what, what!'

  The pretty maid stood up, blushing, and hung her head.

  'You'd better be off, my dear,' said Tubby; 'and, for heavens sake, be careful what you do or say when that old lady's in the house.'

  When they were alone, Charlie apologised.

  'Oh, don't worry about that, old chap. You can do what you like to the girls, but it's your aunt - quick, for God's sake put those books away: I hear a rustle.' Charlie was just in time. Lady Lavinia was in the room just as the cupboard door slammed.

  She sniffed at the collection of liquors.

  'As I thought, drinking, and solitary drinking. Why couldn't you be like your friend and come in the drawing-room for a little music?

  'And what's this?' She picked up a maid's cap from the floor. 'One of the servant's caps! What's it doing here?'

  'Oh, I suppose she must have dropped it,' answered Charlie, pettishly. 'I'll come down to the drawing-room now. It'll be bed-time in a few minutes.'

  In the servants' quarters of the house, discussion as to the identity and raison d'être of the new guests ran rife.

  Young men of the world like Charlie were no new thing, but Aunt Lavinia - in such a house - well!

  'Such particular instructions I've had to clear her room of anything saucy,' said the old housekeeper, gossiping in her room with the butler and the chauffeur; 'and I'm to take 'er tea myself: let none of them 'ussies go near.

  'It makes me fair nervous, it do. Not that I altogether 'old with these games 'ere, but we're all in it, with our eyes open - oh, dear, if she should see some of them pictures.'

  "Twould be a to-do, and no error,' said the butler.

  'And the good lady she tink Mr Bertie so good young man vos - ha! Ha!' and the chauffeur laughed viciously. 'She into what you call a 'ornet's nest got, is it not?'

  In the greater servants' hall speculation was also rife: guests seldom arrived at that house except in very large parties, in motor loads at a time, as a rule. And as for mistress bringing home a single young man, she hadn't done such a thing for years.

  No one had seen his condition when he arrived except the chauffeur, who had maintained a dogged silence. He had been told to do so, and his job was too good to lose.

  They were a free and easy lot in the upper servants' hall at Maudie's, with a very large preponderance of women, mere girls, many of them, and all pretty. In fact, the house was ridiculously over-stocked with females. There was nothing for them to do save when the very big parties were on, and then they were more required for the photography than anything else.

  There were only two men, both deft-handed servants, and both French, and a French-American cook, who was rather a wet blanket on the general irresponsibility of the girls. There remained the page-boy, and several other young boys and girls who helped in the scullery.

  The girls did not care much for the two Frenchmen, and the cook thought of nothing at all but inventing new dishes; hence the joy with which Charlie was received.

  It was an appetising scene. Everything in the house was done, and the girls sprawled in varied alluring déshabillés - it was a hot night, and drawers and chemise, or chemise only, or drawers and vest, and one or two, vest only. Two were quite naked. The room was very comfortable to lounge in, and Maudie didn't care what happened so long as she was waited on quickly. Two girls remained dressed, ready to see their mistress and Lady Lavinia to bed when rung for.

  The page-boy was in general request, fetching coffee and cigarettes, and came in for a good deal more petting than was good for him. In fact, he was quite blasé. The warm caress of a semi-naked divinity had no effect on him.

  They disappeared to bed by degrees, till only Elsie and May were left.

  'Are you going to take the new gentleman any hot water?' queried May.

  'Yes,' answered Elsie.

  It was she who had come into the smoking-room.

  'May I follow you?'

  'A good half-hour after me. I tell you, dear, I need something badly; I haven't had my legs opened for a week, and it's just about time. You come in later, and we'll see what the two of us can't make him do: he's got a rare big 'un.'

  'Right' - and they sealed the compact with a kiss.

  There are few things prettier than the sight of two pretty women who are both lustful, and who really care for each other, kissing as if they meant it.

  Tubby rolled over in bed, and grunted, then he kissed his bedfellow, and was immediately asleep. Maudie sighed. She had had a great deal too much of this of late. She thought over the events of the day, and longed for Charlie. For one wild moment she recollected how firmly Tubby slept, and contemplated making a dash for Charlie's room - but prudence prevailed. She mustn't jeopardize the future. She took up a book, Nadia, a lustful romance, and tried to read herself to sleep, but in vain. Her blood boiled, and at last she woke up Tubby roughly.

  'Tubby, dear, I must and will be fucked,' she said. 'You hardly ever touch me, and yet you expect me to be true to you. Come on.'

  Tubby acquiesced sadly. His extreme stoutness made it quite impossible for him to attack in the old Adam and Eve fashion. He had to do it as the beast of the field. He got out of bed and turned Maudie over its edge. Then, without seeming in the slightest enraptured by the sight of her snowy white buttocks, he deliberately plunged his sausage-like machine into that gap which should only have been reserved for connoisseurs.

  Of course he liked it: he was very healthy, and full of good food and wine, and his penis swelled enormously as his strokes increased in vigour. Maudie lay on her stomach, her pretty little face buried in the lace-edged pillow, and her brain, behind her closed eyes, just a blissful vision of Charlie.

  Oh! if it had only been Charlie!

  The fact is known that sometimes women who, when madly lustful for particular men, are forced to be carnal elsewhere, derive really more pleasure from the beautific dream of their fancied darling, who in a vision is responsible for the flesh spasms which the unseen operator manipulates, than they do when the real darling is in the saddle, so to speak.

  Maudie certainly loved it, and she was only just conscious enough of what had happened to bite her tongue to stop crying 'Charlie' as the last violent stroke from her fat lover sent a hard-shot torrent right up to the doors of her womb.

  'My God,' she thought, 'I really believe Tubby has copped me this time.'

  She hastened to syringe, a precaution she seldom took with her fat lover.

  Tubby, on his part, sank exhausted into an armchair.

  'You've fair whacked me this time, petlet,' he gasped. 'I've never had a fuck like this with you before. What's come over you?'

  The dream was still in Maudie's brain as she answered vaguely, 'How - how can you help it, when you love so much?'

  When Tubby did turn off to sleep he dreamed rapturously. Maudie, too, slept well: she was thoroughly tired at
last. These physical and mental fucks combined are pretty fairly damaging to the vitality.

  Lady Lavinia, when the pretty maid had helped her out of her clothes and given her a nightdress, the decorations of which ill coincided with the elderly widow, removed her wig, put her teeth in a glass, and sniffed round the room.

  She could not but approve of the comfort. No detail necessary to coax comfort to the weary or lazy bed-goer was missing.

  Maudie had put it to her very delicately that if she had neuralgia - or anything - there was 'something' in the cupboard.

  She had a look, and found, in addition to the 'something', a pile of books, one of which she picked out at random.

  It was prettily bound, and called Nemesis Hunt. She took it back to bed with her, had a very hearty drop of the 'something', and opened it.

  A good many readers of this book may have read Nemesis Hunt. They will remember that that charming and loquacious lady somewhat lets the tail go with the hide in her confessions. A fuck is called a fuck, and there is more than fucking in the naive three volumes.

  Lady Lavinia's eyes dilated as she read. Once before, in the very early days of her married life, she had been shown a book like this by her husband, and she remembered now, with a sigh, what a night they had subsequently had.

  Her first impulse was to throw down the book in anger, the consciousness of her position, her reputation, flashed through her brain, but curiosity prevailed, and Lady Lavinia, firmly adjusting her glasses, took another strong sip of the 'something', and started seriously in to read the first volume of The Confessions of Nemesis Hunt.